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DON:
Besides this of course, what interview have you done
that you felt deserves a noteworthy mention?
JOHN: It was an interview I did a few years back with
that no-good, rug-wearin', ABC correspondent, Diane
Sawyer. Wait, she's the one with the false teeth and
onion breath... It was Sam Donaldson. That no good SOB
actually accused me of using illegal substances. As
he said, and I quote, "No one could actually be this
funny 'naturally' therefore, you must be 'on' some kind
of 'performance enhancement'." It was actually a pretty
good interview until the cops came to pull me off of
him.
DON:
Right! What can you tell me about yourself and that
you think most people do not realize.
JOHN: That I was the first male contestant ever on the
Price Is Right to kiss Bob Barker on the lips.
DON:
There have been others since? Per bodybuilding. Tell
me the best, and the worst experience you have ever
had in this field? Maybe the experience was with another
person or happened to a friend or because of someone
else's nonsense.
JOHN: The best experience was easily getting a call
from FLEX magazine Editor-In-Chief, Jerry Kindela, in
1992. Jerry was very impressed with the MUSCLEHEDZ®
cartoons I had sent him and wanted me to work exclusively
with Flex magazine. For a guy who was, at the time,
living in Toronto, Canada, I figured I had a snowball's
chance in hell of getting interest from a magazine like
FLEX. Jerry had nothing but great things to say about
my cartoons, so that was very overwhelming for me. The
worst experience was when he told me what they were
going to pay me.
DON:
Tell me about the different fad diets you have tried.
Why did they fail?
JOHN: That Dick Gregory and his 'Bahamian Diet'... what
a joke. Thankfully, Richard Simmons came along with
his glorious Deal-A-Meal. So far, I've lost 540 lbs.
while following Richard's eating plan. I still have
another 350 or so to go, but let me tell you - I'm startin'
to look REALLY good in spandex! (The KNOW HOW is the
bomb!)
DON:
And no longer need a crane to move to the toilet either!
What different exercise routines have you tried? Split
routines, full body workouts, and what really showed
the best results? What was your last session like?
JOHN: Whether it be bodybuilding, or trying to come
up with funnier and funnier cartoons, I've long been
a believer in pushing yourself farther than you ever
thought you could go. Having said that, I'm a big believer
in the Arthur Jones theory of high-intensity training.
To me, it makes perfect sense. It's the only real training
concept I practiced until getting the Know How!
DON:
What was the last movie you saw, video rented, cd bought,
concert saw, fancy meal ate?
JOHN: I can't remember the last movie I saw, it's been
that long. The last video rented was "Love Stinks."
My wife and I rented it the other night... funny. The
last CD I bought was Tony Bennett Unmasked - that's
the one where he takes the make-up off... ya know...
for the fans. Last concert? The same... Tony Bennett
Unmasked Tour. I'll tell ya, all those years of wearing
those weird costumes and clown white make-up have really
taken their toll on the ol' geezer. Still, he put on
a pretty good show... that is, until his hair caught
fire.
DON:
You're alluding to KISS's farewell tour. Just 4 years
ago, it was a reunion, now supposedly the retirement
tour... What supplement lines do you use or cycle and
when? What one should never be neglected (or more than
one)?
JOHN: I'll be honest - I used to be somewhat of a supplement
junkie. I'm not sure if I used the stuff I did because
I believed it's gonna be the miracle-gro that everyone
else is lookin' for, or if I bought it cuz I thought
I may get a great cartoon idea out of it. I think probably
the latter. As far as which stuff should never be neglected,
I make sure I take my Flintstone's Chewables.
DON:
Is Fred Flinstone your inspiration and what got you
started in cartooning? When did you first realize you
were on to something with this?
JOHN: The crazy thing is I never set out to be a cartoonist.
I started out trying to draw people in proper perspective.
Unfortunately, I was always drawing their heads either
too big or too small (I guess this explains my characters'
small heads). In reality, I'm a failed artist who turned
his negative ability into a positive. I come from an
artistic family, so naturally I was FORCED to draw!...
'Draw or your Father will beat the livin' tar outta
you' is on our Family Crest. I think I realized I was
onto something when I was probably 9 years old. I can
remember on one of my report cards, my teacher wrote
that I should stop drawing when she's talking. Nice,
huh? I got even with her by drawing her naked and showing
the class. Let's just say, the drawing depicted her
as a woman who didn't care much about waxing or hygiene.
DON:
What is your crowning achievement? Who cheered you along
all the while and who said you couldn't that you proved
wrong?
JOHN: Beating Ernest Borgnine as Best Supporting Actor
in 1973 and winning the Oscar was a very special achievement.
I mean, he was damn good in the Poseidon Adventure...
I guess the Academy felt I was better that year. Thankfully,
Phyllis Diller was there by my side most of the way
giving me 'chin tuck' money when I needed it most. Ya
know, Don - winning an Oscar, you really find out who
your friends are and let me tell you, Bob Hope is NO
friend of mine.
DON:
Friends? What is your full name, age, location, actual
job title now and how long have you been doing it? What
was your first and last job working for someone else?
JOHN: My full name is Elmer Jasperella Fudd... John
Gleneicki's just my 'stage' name. I'm 35 years old and
my actual job title is 'That lucky bastard who gets
to work at home.' I've been 'That lucky bastard who
gets to work at home' since 1991. My first job working
for someone else was, I was Dennis The Menace's stunt
double. I took the slaps and punches, stood close to
the pyro, fell outta the windows, and that little nose-picker
got all of the credit. My last job working for someone
was... I was Sonny Bono's ski instructor.
DON:
What do you want to plug besides MUSCLEHEDZ® that
makes it unique?
JOHN: WRESTLEHEDZ - Wrestling's Funniest Cartoon Series!...
https://www.wrestlehedz.com ... In a style I like to
think is completely unique and all my own, WRESTLEHEDZ
will be a very successful cartoon series.
DON:
Describe to me your current eating plan and what you
should do to change it?
JOHN: Whole milk and ice cream all day. Have I mentioned
I'm lactose intolerant? The gas is why I don't have
co-workers. Seriously, I am now on the Know How....
DON:
What is your favorite 'good for you' meal and favorite
cheat food?
JOHN: My favorite 'good for you' meal doesn't exist.
I only enjoy food if it's bad for me. My favorite cheat
'meal' is The Caribbean Steak from The Cheesecake Factory
in CA. If you live in Southern CA, you probably know
the Cheesecake Factory.
DON:
I do! Is there anything you think we haven't touched
upon here yet you'd like to?
JOHN: Ya... What am I gettin' paid for this?
DON:
Turkish millions! What is your educational background?
What or who did you study the most to do what you do
today?
JOHN: Some college... more importantly, I graduated
with honors from the school of Hard Knocks. Nothing
beats real life experiences... they don't teach you
in a classroom what to do when you get screwed in a
business deal... or when you don't get paid for the
job you did... I think they should. As far as who I
studied, I'm a huge fan of Looney Tunes® - definitely,
they are my biggest inspiration. That stuff is unbeatable
as far as concepts, characters, voices, and humor. I
aspire to create greatness like that. Whether I have
or will, I don't know. But I know I try to out-do every
cartoon I do... that's all I can do.
DON:
I am curious what is your most frequently asked question.
I am also curious if you prefer a certain line of exercise
equipment or not.....
JOHN: My most frequently asked question - "I'm putting
up a web site and I wanted to know if I can use your
cartoons on my site? Of course, I'll put a link back
to your site!" ...I get about 5 of those a day. Favorite
equipment?... Hammer Strength and Cybex for machines.
I still prefer free weights... and free meals... and
free tickets to a hockey game... anything free for that
matter.
DON:
People do not realize how serious being an artist is.
They just don't get it. Your top five favorite web sites
are:
JOHN: https://www.toonoftheweek.com - Not only because
it's my work, but because it offers people within the
industry something they won't find anywhere else. With
new toons every week as well as a great selection of
the latest and greatest sports supplements. Same goes
for the free e-cards - I use them myself all the time.
If you haven't been there yet, check it out. https://www.netrition.com
- Best site online to buy supplements from. He's got
everything. https://www.labrada.com - Great company and
great products. A company you can trust when it comes
to putting out real quality products and not just doing
whatever is hot at the time. Website's pretty damn cool,
too. https://www.macromedia.com - Great company and web
site if you're a web designer. Top-notch software...
industry leader. https://www.wrestlingobserver.com or
https://www.prowrestlingtorch.com - I'm a fan of bodybuilding
but I'm a bigger fan of wrestling! These sites feature
some of the most respected and unbiased wrestling reporters
around giving you the inside scoop on wrestling today.
Good sources for me when I'm brainstorming on cartoon
ideas for my newest cartoon series - WRESTLEHEDZ!
DON:
What makes you cringe? What makes you smile so wide
your jaw aches?
JOHN: Cringe? Fat men in tank tops with really bushy
under arms... anyone who goes on national television
to air their family's dirty laundry... bad exercise
form... the 80's glam look... Smile?... Looney Tunes®
and my wife!
DON:
Paint the final picture of your goals in life. Of all
the highs and lows, what is your desired final destination?
JOHN: I would like MUSCLEHEDZ® and WRESTLEHEDZ to
be recognized as great cartoons in the same way that
The FAR SIDE®, and Calvin And Hobbs® are. Unfortunately,
I don't think that will happen, primarily because I'm
targeting niche markets that seem to be unpopular topics
to the rest of the world. So, let's just say, I'm not
banking on the National Cartoonists Society honoring
me and my work... EVER! I'd like to have a couple of
kids and live a healthy, wonderful life with my wife
and family, and finally, I'd really like to continue
to be... 'That lucky bastard who gets to work at home'.
DON:
What needs to be changed in bodybuilding or fitness...
mainstream or industry related and what do you suggest
could make this change?
JOHN: Ask the general public about bodybuilders and
the sport of bodybuilding and they'll say, "They're
all on steroids!" They're turned off by that stuff.
Ask those same people about the wrestlers (some of whom
are obviously on drugs and gassin' big time) and wrestling
and they'll say, "He's cool!... He swears and gives
everyone the finger!" I'd say, if you want the sport
of bodybuilding to become more popular and widely accepted,
there's the answer - it should be mandatory for the
bodybuilders to come on stage and one-by-one, swear
their asses off, gesture to their crotches, and give
the judges and audience the finger. Maybe the occasional
smashing of a beer can against the head would help too.
DON:
Finally, Musclehedz. The cartoon that never really ends
because it is in your blood. What would you like to
make perfectly clear that you are that the 'other' guy,
the only other muscle cartoon, is not?
JOHN: Quite honestly, there isn't anything like MUSCLEHEDZ®.
There are guys drawing comic book style bodybuilding
art, but as far as a bodybuilding cartoon series where
you laugh at a cartoon, I haven't seen it... MUSCLEHEDZ®
is the only one of its kind.
See John at www.musclehedz.net
Don Lemmon's Nutritional and Exercise Know How